That moment your whole world changes; your reality of what pain feels like comes full boar and smacks you in the face. Pain is never easy, nor does the feeling slowly creep up on you. It doesn’t start out quiet as a whisper and then slowly make its way to a blood-curdling scream. Pain hits you in an instant and is as loud as a shrieking child only wanting comfort from his mother. In these initial moments it makes us all crazy people, crazy people walking around desperately seeking something to numb the hurt. Numbing doesn’t alleviate the pain, it just makes it tolerable, to get through every single moment.
Those lucid moments in this state are absolutely critical in defining the response to the agony that you feel. On this journey to figure out how you feel, there’s a whirlwind of emotions, some rational others just completely out of left field. All of them ok, embrace them as they come. The incoherent thoughts will flood your mind, voice them out loud, but do not allow them to take life of their own. Accept them as they are. There is no normal when it comes to pain, there’s just not.
The thing about pain is it demands to be felt. Whether you acknowledge it right away or later on down the road; it always will roar it’s ugly face. It’s never going to be pleasant, I can absolutely promise you that.
It can offer to be a potential for growth, for self-reliance, and for understanding. You’re going to hurt; you’re going to be mad, bitter even. Don’t let those feelings define your life, rise up from them a stronger person.
In these times the hardest thing to do is be mindful. Evaluating it as neither good nor bad, taking it just as it is. Mindfulness is hard and needs practice daily in a lot of different aspects of life. So when the time does come to get face to face with a painful dilemma you’re as best prepared as you can be.
Wish there was a quick fix, a path already paved, unfortunately there is not. There’s only the path you create as you find yourself on this journey and hopefully leads to where you’re destined to go. If it’s not the place you desire, I hope it’s somewhere better than you thought you’d ever be.
Pain never goes away it resurfaces in many forms throughout life. The hallowing feeling in your stomach, the shrilling in your ears in a quiet room, the tears flooding down your cheeks, the anxiousness, the feeling as though your heart could burst out of your chest, & the panic that sets in. Embrace it for what it is, nothing more nothing less.
Open your mind, your heart, and let someone in, anyone. Sometimes it’s the most random people who have the best words of encouragement.
Writing this today after a 3 week period of wallowing in self-pity helped me to pin point my next steps in healing those that are around me and myself. It hasn’t been an easy go, in fact, it’s been one of the most painful experiences of my life. No matter what, I will persevere and I hope you do as well.
Let the pain be the fuel to your fire, your motivation when you need it, and the wind in your sails when you’re tired. We’d never know euphoria if it wasn’t for the painful experiences, treasure every minute of what life throws your way, all of it.